Philanthropist publishes book depicting "crisis" faced by gay teens

With the annual National Coming Out Day tomorrow, activists will stage celebrations, events and other commemorations across the country to mark this all-important LGBT rite of passage. The fact remains, however, lesbian and gay teenagers across the country continue to face homophobia, violence and even death because of their sexual orientation and gender identity or expression.

New Hampshire Bishop V. Gene Robinson, former New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey, Candace Gingrich, National Black Justice Coalition CEO H. Alexander Robinson and the CNN political analyst Hillary Rosen are among those profiled in gay philanthropist Mitchell Gold's book "Crisis: 40 Stories Revealing the Personal, Social and Religious Pain and Trauma of Growing Up Gay in America." It hit bookstores last month, but Gold told EDGE in an interview at his Hell's Kitchen apartment his own experiences growing up in Trenton, New Jersey, which included dating girls as a teenager and suicidal thoughts, were among the factors that motivated him to write the book.

"I don't want one more gay teen to go through what I went through as a gay teen," he said.

Gold further described the plight of gay teenagers who continue to struggle with their sexuality without the support of family and friends as a "silent mental health epidemic."

"These kids are living in crisis mode," he said. "They are trying to navigate their teenage years alone. There are hundreds of thousands of kids in the suburbs of Greenville, South Carolina, Oklahoma, Wichita [Kansas] and New York who are not able to get help and are alone."

Texas Tech University student Jared Horsford is one gay man Gold profiled. He begins his story with how he cut "fag" and "I hate you" into his chest over the span of a few months. Horsford turned to an ex-gay ministry in Dallas in a last ditch effort to get help, but he said he soon realized it was part of the problem.

"The most difficult thing about telling my story was reliving the pain and the deception I had experienced while involved with the ex-gay ministry," Horsford said. "To see how some of the leaders preyed on my confusion and insecurity, to see how I was told exactly what I wanted to hear and what they wanted me to believe... is what hurts the most now."

Horsford eventually left the ministry to return to Texas Tech to finish his degree. He made gay friends and found a gay-affirming congregation, but Horsford was also quick to acknowledge those who continue to grapple with their sexual orientation.

"I am most happy with knowledge that, in some small way, my story might help youth going through the same feelings I had," Horsford said.

Singer Ari Gold agreed. He came out to his Orthodox Jewish family in an 18-page letter, and he said the he "could not have asked for a better response." Gold added he feels the book has allowed him to share his struggle with others who may share his experience.

"So many people in this country have had similar experiences with growing up gay and religious and to be a part of a project that was specifically meant to address this "crisis" was an opportunity to make a difference that I could not pass up," he said.

Mary Lou Wallner's story carries particularly tragic poignancy. She rejected her lesbian daughter who eventually killed herself based, in large part, because of her faith. Wallner and her husband later founded Teach Ministries to educate people about homophobia and its impact.

Gold was quick to add Wallner's decision is not unique.

"I see too many people who put their church above their family," he said. "It's a horrible disgrace that exists today in America."

Gold further conceded some of those he profiled in the book were initially hesitant to discuss their experiences.

"It was not easy," he said. "I had to push people to talk about things they had pushed so far back."

As Gold continues to promote the book, he hopes it will become a resource not only for those gay teens and others who continue to struggle against homophobia but activists within the movement for LGBT rights who he feels should bring these issues to the forefront in a more concrete way.

"It's an epidemic... folks don't know about," Gold said. "Nobody who reads this walks away and says that this is OK."