Out There :: Furries in Action

We're not really in charge of what comes across our desk. The oddest books are sent to us, but perhaps there have been none so odd as "A Guinea Pig Pride & Prejudice" (Bloomsbury, publication date Oct. 13). Yes, it's a retelling of the classic Jane Austen novel as re-enacted by a cast of guinea pigs in photographic tableaus. The part of Elizabeth is played by the tan-and-white rodent Molly, while the part of Mr. Darcy is essayed by the gray stud-pig Hollie. We have to say, all the furry animals fill the characters' shoes and top-coats nicely.

You truly haven't read "Pride & Prejudice" until you've seen the phrase "Mr. Bingley was good looking, but Mr. Darcy was much handsomer, a fine figure of a man" illustrated by two guinea pigs' behinds as they enter a drawing-room; or, "What painter could do justice to those beautiful eyes?" captioning a photo focused on a rodent's beady black eyes and intently sniffing nose.

Asked by The New York Times to review the book, author Salman Rushdie wrote, "This may be the definitive version of 'Pride & Prejudice.' If they could get War and Peace down to this length, it would be a service to mankind." Television adventure star Bear Grylls wrote, "As far as I'm concerned, it's the perfect combo: I love old literature, and I have eaten a ton of rodents over the years. In fact, I've just had a desert mouse that I stewed in urine." Yum, we guess.

Hula Hit Parade

In honor of its 30th anniversary, Kumu Hula Patrick Makuakane and his award-winning dance troupe Na Lei Hulu I Ka Wekiu return to the Palace of Fine Arts Theatre for four performances, Oct. 17-25, with "Kanakolu - 30 Years of Hula," a retrospective that pays tribute to the company's body of work. Featuring several of Na Lei Hulu's greatest hits from the past 30 years, "Kanakolu - 30 Years of Hula" will also include several world-premiere dance numbers. Tickets ($35-$40) are available through City Box Office at (415) 392-4400 or at cityboxoffice.com.

Finally, Little Bits columnist Pepi and Snout There columnist OT joined the good folks of Hornblower Cruises last Friday night for a media dinner cruise in the Captain's Lounge aboard the California Hornblower yacht. The cruise left from Pier 3 in SF, took us over to McCovey Cove during the excitement of an SF Giants game, under the Bay Bridge, alongside Alcatraz, and finally into the choppy waters under the Golden Gate Bridge. We enjoyed catching up with press friends, getting down to "Twist & Shout" on the dancefloor, and puffing ourselves up by gloating: "We're on a boat!" Highly recommended. Info: hornblower.com