PopUps :: Post-Wedding Blues

It's official. Kim and Kanye are officially one. Even Twitter says so. The power couple's closests friends and family gathered to watch them marry in Florence, Italy last Sunday. Except the guest list was actually kind of D-List. Oprah wasn't there. No Goopy Paltrow. I don't even think Pusha-T was invited.

There were a few exceptions though. The always classy John Legend and Serena Williams showed up, and Jaden Smith was running around in a white Batman costume because of course he did. Noticeably absent, however, was Kanye's maybe not so BFF: Jay Z and wife Beyonce.

Initially, Beyonce wasn't going to let Jay go to the wedding at all because of her distain for Kim, but after Jay was reportedly upgraded to best man, Queen B made her final ruling and it was a go. Except that didn't happen.

Bey and Jay ended up ditching the wedding for a retreat to the Hamptons (sans Blue Ivy), where they spent the weekend taking selfies. Beyonce did make the time to wish KimYe well wishes on their marriage.

"Wishing you a lifetime of unconditional love. God bless your beautiful family," she wrote on Instagram with an image of Kim, Kanye and North.

The Daily Mail reports the couple skipped the wedding because fashion designer Rachel Roy was there. Roy is rumored to be the cause of the infamous elevator incident where Solange popped off on Jay. Another reason for the snub is that Bey does not want to be seen on reality TV. According to Radar Online, she allegedly said, "under no circumstances will she be a part of any filming on the wedding day if it's for Kim's reality show."

But the wedding wasn't filmed - only the moments leading up to the ceremony and moments thereafter.

Whatever, Bey. You missed out on Lana Del Rey's exclusive performance at KimYe's wedding rehearsal. Reports initially surfaced saying Lana was offered a six-figure number (some reports said over $2 million) to sing "Young & Beautiful," a really odd wedding song choice but OK.

But Lana put rumors to rest this week and revealed how much KimYe forked over: zero. As in zero dollars. $000,000.

When TMZ asked the singer how much it would cost her to pay at his wedding, she replied, "I'll do it for free, just like I did this one. I would never let a friend pay me sing at their wedding."

I guess that makes her young, beautiful and poor. JK she's worth $8 million.

It's one thing for friends not to go to your wedding but what about your own brother? Kim's big young bro Rob bailed on the wedding too. Some reports initially said that he thought the whole thing was "superficial bullshit" but E! now reports there was no fight or ill will. Rob, like all us big boys, was a bit too self-conscious.

"Kim and Rob did not fight," a source told E!. "He wanted to be there, but he was feeling so insecure and didn't want anyone to see him heavier like this. Kim and Kanye completely understand. They love Rob and only want him to be healthy and happy."

Speaking of people who didn't go to things, Madonna ditched jury duty. The New York Post reports the Queen of Pop failed to show up to jury duty Tuesday after being summoned to a lower Manhattan courthouse. The newspaper also reported the reason for the Martial Girl's absence:

"A legitimate doctor's note was received saying she is unable to attend," a source told The New York Post. The singer's spokesperson said that her jury service "is being rescheduled."

I wonder what she was sick with because Madonna went on an Instagram spree last weekend, posting shots of her riding a horse and her son catching some waves. One the day of the jury duty, the pop star posted a picture of her son laughing at a BBQ, the Independent reports.

I guess Madonna is just like one of us. She hates waiting in a small room with weirdos named Agatha and Henry for hours until finding out if your life is going to suck for a week because you were assigned a case or awesome because you got the day off.

Guess who else is like the rest of us. Mariah Carey! The ultimate diva tried to prove she really isn't the ultimate diva this week by riding the New York subway with the rest of the world's serfs.

The Daily Mail reports the 44-year-old singer rode the subway in a beautiful blue gown, saying, "I figured as I'm under dressed I might as well take the subway."

"It's like sparkles against filth, I'm just walking, it's been a while since I've taken the subway," the civilian Mariah later added.

"Sparkles against filth" is something I am going to be saying for a while and should definitely be the title of the first chapter of Mariah's autobiography.

Bonus: Two members of One Direction got into hot water this week after a leaked video of them maybe smoking a joint. It may be just a cig. But despite all the heat the video is getting, which originally posted to the Daily Mail, is kind of boring. Still it's kind of hot.