Pentagon: DOMA Means DADT Repeal Won't Help Gay Military Families

The end of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" will be official sixty days after the president, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and the Defense Secretary certify that the United States Armed Forces are ready to accept openly gay and lesbian colleagues in their ranks.

But for the families of gay and lesbian patriots in uniform, the law will not provide basic parity until another anti-gay federal law, the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), is also repealed by lawmakers or struck down by the courts.

According to the Pentagon, military families in which both spouses are the same gender cannot be treated as families under the law, which forbids any federal level recognition of married same-sex couples, even if those couples are married in one of the six states that currently permits marriage equality, Fox News reported on July 17.

DOMA's effects are felt by American same-sex couples on many levels, from Social Security and other pension benefits, to additional tax burdens that heterosexuals couples never have to worry about, to a crazy-quilt patchwork of laws from state to state that can embrace a married couple on one side of a border -- only to render them legal strangers on the other side.

For Americans in bi-national same-sex relationships, the obstacles to simply sharing their lives with a same-sex partner are often impossible to overcome. For many, the result is a heartbreaking enforced separation -- or, for the lucky ones, an equally difficult choice between attempting long-distance relationship or relocating to another nation. Several countries around the world permit same-sex marriage.

But for America's finest, the additional expense and the lack of equitable protections and benefits aren't going to be enough to stop them. Once the law allows gay and lesbian servicemembers both to serve their country and to honor their personal integrity, many in the Armed Forces intend to come out -- and get married.

"I owe it to him and myself," an unnamed military officer told Fox News.

Even though Congress voted to repeal DADT last December, the law remains in effect, though a court order has stayed -- at least for the moment -- any action against troops found to be gay or lesbian. The Fox News article said only that the officer in question was from Ohio, and is currently posted to Washington, D.C., where marriage equality is legal.

"I don't want to do it in the dark," the officer added, meaning his anticipated nuptials. "I think that taints what it's supposed to be about -- which is us, our families, and our government."

In addition to bills for wedding, however, the couple will be faced with expenses associated with the officer's military career -- expenses that the government would defray through family benefits, if DOMA did not specifically exclude families like theirs from federal recognition.

It's a problem gay and lesbian military personnel already deal with. A lesbian couple recently made headlines when one of the women, a Marine, was found to have married a male fellow servicemember in order to access a government benefit that pays a stipend to allow married military families to afford to live off base.

The civilian partner of the female Marine also married a male member of the military, allowing him to access extra benefits. The three Marines now face courts-martial, time in the brig, plus a hefty financial debt to Uncle Sam.

Same-sex families in which both spouses are of the same gender also face extra financial penalties for not being straight. An Oct. 2, 2009 New York Times analysis showed that a same-sex couple could face additional financial burdens in the hundreds of thousands of dollars over the course of their life together.

But the military's culture is all about equality, or at least "uniformity," the Fox News article pointed out.

"It's not going to work," predicted Log Cabin Republicans head R. Clarke Cooper, who, despite a high profile openly gay man, remains a captain in the Army Reserve.

"Taking care of our soldiers is necessary to ensure morale and unit cohesion. This creates a glaring stratification in the disbursement of support services and benefits," added Cooper.

The question is timely and growing more so by the day.

"The Obama administration has said it believes the ban could be fully lifted within weeks," the Fox News Article said. "A federal appeals court ruling July 6 ordered the government to immediately cease its enforcement. After the Department of Justice filed an emergency motion asking the court to reconsider its order, the court on Friday reinstated the law but with a caveat that prevents the government from investigating or penalizing anyone who is openly gay."

But the military's culture has also proven far more adaptable than anyone might have foreseen: Even in advance of the end of DADT, officers and troops are coming out of the closet to their peers and commanding officers. Whereas opponents had predicted a tidal wave of disorder, violence, and departures, the military has caught up to contemporary life with scarcely a ripple.

On a human level, at least. But while the much-ballyhooed breakdown in moral and military cohesion has spectacularly failed to manifest itself, the bureaucracy remains effectively anti-gay. Since same-sex marriages are not federally recognized, the fact that a soldier headed overseas to see combat can list a same-sex partner as a contact does not mean that the troop's beloved will be the one the government informs in the event that he or she is killed or wounded in action, Fox news reported. The current policy considers only opposite-sex spouses to fall into the category of "immediate family."

Even for troops who are only transferred from place to place within the United States, the cost to their family lives and support structures is high, both emotionally and financially.

"It strains a relationship when you're gone for over a year," a Navy servicemember who was sent to Washington, D.C. and parted from his male life partner for two years told Fox News. "But straight couples have support so their spouses are able to be taken care of, with financial issues, and also they are able to talk to the chain of command, whereas gays can't. They don't have any support at all financially or emotionally, and that is really devastating."

The two were eventually reunited when the Navy man was sent back to San Diego.

"There are inconsistencies," acknowledged one officer at a training to prepare troops for the end of DADT. Maj. Daryl Desimone, who had been asked about military same-sex families and the benefits they won't be getting went on to say, "Anyone who looks at it logically will see there are some things that need to be worked out in the future."

But DOMA, too, may be on its way out. There are at least ten suits against the law in federal court, and one judge has already ruled that the anti-gay law is unconstitutional. A court case looking at bankruptcies involving same-sex families recently came to a similar conclusion.

The Obama Administration said earlier this year that it would not defend DOMA in federal court because of questions regarding the law's constitutionality.

The Republican-led House of Representatives subsequently announced a scheme to use taxpayer money to hire a private attorney to defend the law in federal cases.