January 24, 2011
Miss'd America Fashion Parade on Historic Miss America Runway
Mark Thompson READ TIME: 10 MIN.
Nothing plumbs the depths of fashion's surrealism as fantastically as a beauty pageant - and particularly when that pageant is the Miss'd America Pageant in Atlantic City.
The eight contestants of this year's LGBT fund-raising event drew couture inspiration from sources such as Scarlett O'Hara's drapery dress to the more extreme creations featured on "Project Runway," with a pit-stop at Cher's closet - and the result was a phantasmagoric statement on the sartorial thrills of sheathing a man in a dress.
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In one of her sixty-two costume changes, the former Miss'd America 2010, Michelle Dupree, wore a gown made entirely of organic lettuce leaves harvested locally from the fields of southern New Jersey - in direct response to Lady Gaga's meat dress.
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The newly-crowned Miss'd America 2011, Kitty Hiccups, showed her spots in a skintight leopard dress, bedizened with scores of environmentally sustainable tigers eyes.
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Miss Gusty Winds took her runway walk in a resplendent gown from the estate of Ethel Merman.
"Everything's coming up roses" for the zaftig and zany Gusty Winds, who wowed the judges with her hysterical performance of the sheep herders' yodeling song.
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Miss Phyl Craig in an iridescent beaded gown hand-embroidered by an entire convent of Franciscan nuns.
The svelte Miss Craig also took the award for "Best Swimsuit," wearing one of the original Kit Kat Club ensembles from Weimar Berlin.
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Singer/songwriter/actress Miss Erika Schiff wearing feathers from a full flock of pink flamingos.
A dynamo on stage, Miss Schiff sent the feathers flying to the rafters with her turbo-charged, Broadway-worthy performances.
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Miss Phyl Craig wearing a gown borrowed from Liza Minnelli (who also lent her voice).
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Miss Shi-Queeta Lee doing it nice and rough in red, at the beginning of a sensational performance of Tina Turner's "Proud Mary" that brought the entire audience to its feet, stomping and cheering - and won Miss Lee the judges' award for "Best Talent."
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Wearing a splendid form-fitting gown, Miss Navaya Shay fielded the evening's toughest interview question with tact and aplomb while sporting more than $120 million dollars in jewelry from Harry Winston.
Miss Shay's implacable cool and graceful elegance landed her the "Best Evening Gown" award.
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During the evening's most emotional number, Miss'd America 2010, Michelle Dupree took her farewell walk down the Miss America runway wearing bordello-red silk and sequins - while a video montage recapped the highlights of her reign (which had nothing whatsoever to do with bordellos).
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A long-term New Yorker and a member of New York Travel Writers Association, Mark Thompson has also lived in San Francisco, Boston, Provincetown, D.C., Miami Beach and the south of France. The author of the novels WOLFCHILD and MY HAWAIIAN PENTHOUSE, he has a PhD in American Studies and is the recipient of fellowships at MacDowell, Yaddo, and Blue Mountain Center. His work has appeared in numerous publications.
